Texts I want to send....

I love you. Please fight for us. We can overcome this. 

I hate you for what you have done. We had good stuff and you've thrown me away at the slightest hiccup 

Friends. You want to be friends with me?!! Why? Why me?! You're not friends with any of your other exes. What did I do that was so special to deserve to be friends?  

You can't break someone heart and then tell them you care from them 

If that desperate haggard bitch likes another status or Facebook I will cut her. 

You're a fucking cunt

I miss you. 

I can't do this anymore. 

I've got so much more money without you!!

You are incapable of adapting to ever be happy with someone. We had something amazing and you picked and picked until nothing was left. You're 33 for fuck sake. You saw kids with me. You saw marriage but now nothing... It doesn't change over night. 

We was Lyneete and Tom. You was my person!! What the fuck have I done. 

Road to recovery.... Where is it? Directions please?

Hmmm so I've read about a million break up websites And have even downloaded a book about getting someone to love you. How much did I become a little pup you just want to get in a bear hug. 

So six days ago, a million tears ago, but who is counting I sent a text that changed my life, I asked the boy to talk through our issues as currently he seemed off like he didn't want to be with me. He came back and looked all sheepish and I knew something was wrong. And all I could think was "thank god you put a bra on woman"

Then the tears started and I realised what I was losing. A few weeks ago I thought we needed a break and I felt a bit trapped. But soon as the big "B" word was used I was in pieces and this shattered my whole trapped feelings and suddenly I couldn't bear to imagine him not being in my life. But wait he is packing his stuff. He is going. It's over!!

But thank god I wore a bra......

What I miss about living alone....

So this will be an on going blog updated as I see fit (or when the boy royally pisses me off) don't get me wrong I love him but because it's I love him that he royally knows how to piss me off!!!

1) No judgements. 

Examples - 

Eating toast for tea. 

Not doing shopping for weeks. Living on cuppa soup. 

Wearing all my clothes before doing washing (even the skanky Granny pants, we all have them... Don't lie!!) 

Not cleaning the bathroom for weeks. (My blog isn't called domestic mess for nothing. I'm a tramp!!)

2) Not showering everyday 

(when you have no plans of course, like Friday to Sunday afternoon, Ahhh bliss)

3) Watching what I want on TV. 

Everyone has their guilty pleasures, mine is Teen Mom, Don't tell the bride and Storage Hunters (strange crush on Jessie). The boy allows me to watch them when he is in (and when he doesn't I remind him "we have two tv's go and plug the other one in" as if you recall tv's aren't to be trusted and could blow up at any time) and will sit and watch but MY GOWD will he talk and talk and talk through it. Now I am known for being chatty but even I know there is a time and a place and during Teen Mom it is not!!! Which leads me on to four...

4) SILENCE!!!!!!!! 

Living with OCD

Today's post is a bit of story about me and the boy and one of our downs! Hope you like. 

So like every couple we have ups and downs and when it's good it's really good. And when it's bad it's still good so I think we're on the right track. 

But it's not always been like this. When we first moved in with each other I didn't know the extent of the boy's OCD, don't get me wrong it's not really bad where he could be on a tv show it's just enough to make me roll my eyes (in complete support of course hahah)

So the first time I visited his flat (which is now our flat) on the way out he forcibly checked the door was locked and then after we got in the car and drove past the door from the garage he stopped the car and got out and again checked the door. "Strange but ok, can never be too safe" I thought. 

And that was the extent I saw until I moved in with him. 

When I moved in with him I saw the bigger OCD picture. Nothing can be left plugged in over night or when we go out which makes a nightmare for chargers (laptop, kindle, iPad and Iphone all never fully charged, and if you are as dependent on your tech items as me you can see why this would cause friction) 

So while we are late already and I'm outside impatiently tapping my heels and shouting "hurry up, we are LATE!!" While he runs around unplugging stuff that is turned off and I'm sighing like I've just ran five mies to get my point across. 

He finally comes out of the flat and locks the door, forcibly checks the door is locked and then checks again on the drive up!! I silently seethe and think wait until we get back home. 

When we get home it's a full out war of shouting at each other that ends with me shouting what's the difference between leaving my charger plugged in and you leaving the fridge plugged in. To which the boy shouts "I have to trust the fridge!!"

And it clicked he can't help it. He can't sit at my friends house knowing my GHD's are plugged in but turned off. It's like that nagging feeling we have when we think "did I turn the straighteners off?" But on a bigger scale of nagging torment. 

And for the last few months I've been mocking and unsupportive of this issue that my favourite person in the whole world, who clearly can't help it. Once the words "I have to trust the fridge" were said, I just hugged him and apologised for all the jokes and the muttered insults that we're said over the last few months. 

So the OCD is still an on going issue and I don't think he will ever put it to bed but while I'm helping and not mocking our lives are so much happier. And now I forcibly check the door is locked with him rather than mock his efforts at keeping our home and me safe!

Picture challenge!!

So I committed to doing it so here is the day in the life of a domesticated mess!! 

12pm - woke up and swapped Easter eggs (last year I didn't get the boy an Easter and when I finally did a few days afterwards it was broken, he was not pleased hahaha) I love my Easter egg this year but the cheesecake chocolate is very sickly!!! 

1pm - travelling to my Nanna's for Sunday lunch and on the way we spot a car over taking people stupidly and speeding and when a beer can got thrown out of the speeding car, the boy insisted I called the non emergency police to report the car. So here is a screen shot of my call being a crime stopper!!! We did get some feedback from the police, who will be visiting the registered car owner's address. So could have prevented a car crash!! #crimestopper

2pm - continue to drive to my Nanna's and the boy went out last night and was a little worse for wear this morning. And he insists on getting rid of his alcohol fumes before we reach my relatives and continues to gas me with the smelliest farts ever!! So bad I had to open the windows and those from Manchester know today was not a warm day!!

3pm arrive at my Nanna's and swap Easter eggs!!! All good!!! #thorntons #special

4pm (ish) - we get our dinner!!! Mmmmmmm nothing beats Nanna cooking!! Also some good chats with my Nanna and her partner. I really don't spend enough time with my Nanna and I really enjoy her company. And life is too short and all that jazz, so today was a lovely memory and I'm glad it appeared In my blog and my picture challenge as the day is documented. (So the picture challenge has served it's purpose!!)

5pm - boy insists on listening to the United game and then moans at the loss (you'd think he would be used to them losing these season by now)

6pm - in the back of our back garden is a field and I constantly hear them baaaarrr'ing but never go and see them. So today I went and saw them and took pictures to share :))

7pm - bit of nature. It's good for the soul and when I really looked at the tree it did have a bit of artistic beauty to it (been taking pictures for 8 hours already think I'm a photographer!!) 

8pm - films borrowed from Nanna's (I say borrowed but unlikely to ever be given back!!! Think the bucket list is the one to watch tonight)) 

9pm - we decide we would like some cakes so the boy sets out his work station because he thinks he is cake boss (if you haven't seen it watch it ASAP it's great!!!!

10pm - boy wants to watch a boy film (one with Arnie and Silvester) the last true boy film he made me watch (Pain and gain) had me in tears as it was Monk (from the tv show) who was being tortured. So I will give this a miss and I decided to do some light reading on the Kindle. I'm obsessed with Hunger games and just recently watched the film Divergent which I'm told is a similar genre so I've opted to read that instead!! 

11pm - Usually the boy has me on a strict diet and no bad food is allowed in the house but when he is feeling fragile,

crisps and cakes are allowed. Plus it's Easter so I should be allowed bad food,

so here are our movie snacks... Plus the cakes made earlier that I'm still hearing about how he is cake boss and deserves his own show!! 

12am - my last picture, really not sure what the plasma looking thing is on the left I took this like four times came out the same every time #spookey!!!

Of course it's got to be my bed!!!! And this reminds me that I want new bedding as brown is boring and samey (the boy has 3 bed spreads all the same colour all the same type) he needs some colour in his life, I know! I'm working on him give me time!!

So that's it folks 13 pictures that sum up a day in the life of Domestic Mess!! I did really enjoy taking pictures and it really did make me see the world more as I was conscious to get a good picture or an interesting one I could talk about. So I would say this is a brilliant task!!!! :))

 

Unlikely friend.....

So about 15 months ago I met my boyfriends best friend and his partner. She was a really good friend to his ex (a ten year relationship) so there are some old ties (but her loyalties lie with my boy which is good) but from my side I felt I had some big shoes to fill even if the ex misses and the best gal pal aren't friends now it still had issues for me. Call me insecure call me petty or call me realistic and honest. I'd go with all four hahahaha. 

So the first meeting was very tense and the comment the boy said afterwards was"I don't expect you to be besties just be civil" so I'm assuming I wasn't the fav!!

 

But now 15 months later and I consider this girl a friend. I enjoy spending time and the conversation flows and we even have little bitching sessions!! Which I think signs and seals a friendship in my opinion!!!

The crossing over was sealed (in my opinion anyways) was when she discussed the ten year ex and said how she was brave to end things with my boy and start over and how she was glad that  my boy found someone who was right for him and who he knew he was meant to be with (a direct quote from her boy during a man talk - who knew they existed where they actually talked about feelings) then she went on to say the friendship with the ten year ex didn't happen over night they had to work at it. This was like an olive branch to me which signalled don't worry we will get there. Maybe I'm reading too much into it maybe it was a passing comment or maybe it was a promise of things to come. And that was like a light at the end of the tunnel.... An unlikely friend, I love that fact!

Gyms???!!! Why oh why can't I have good metabolism!

Take one...... The gym......
Why is there always one steroid obsessed guy and one crazy bitch in the vicinity of the gym when I attend? every machine I went on I had a big muscle man following me asking if I was nearly done... No pal I haven't done as I am still adjusting the seat, PISS OFF!!! Ohhhh Jeeezzzzz

Take two...... The Swimming pool......
Then in the swimming pool there was an OTT couple all over each other and she would casually shake her bikini top to him and he would blush and hold his crotch to which she would gently rub it better for him.... seriously what on earth do I pay for at this gym.

Take three...... The Sauna......
and there is some ignorant bigoted woman claiming how Muslims wearing head scarf's offend her.... and cue being fat forever as if this is the type of people that are fit and desirable I shall say over weight thank you very much!!!

But I will return.... Definitely.... Maybe. 

On the bright side I have been getting some good comments on breast reduction lately. #Good times!!!